Silver Linings
by Iolaire
Summary: At Luke's request, Rey meditates on her time on Jakku. A series focusing on Rey's childhood and teenage years spent in exile on the desert planet.
1. Prologue

The mid-morning sun filtered through the forest canopy, a light breeze stirring the treetops. Rey halted midstride, listening. That sound never got old—the gentle rustling of leaves. So different from the sound of wind swirling desert sands on the planet she had called home until very recently.

The feeling those two very different sounds evoked in her, however, was very much the same. She associated it with being alone, as she never seemed to notice something so subtle when her attention was occupied with the sounds that came with being around others. She had left behind the cacophony of the Resistance base more than an hour ago, but it wasn't until now, when she had gone so deep into the forest that she could no longer feel Master Skywalker's Force signature or see the X-Wings flying low over the canopy on drills, that she felt she was truly by herself.

She supposed this was as good a place as any. Walking further would only serve to allow her further procrastination. Master Skywalker had given her an assignment, after all.

Rey dropped her small daypack to the ground. Her quarterstaff followed. She plopped down beside them and assumed the position Master Skywalker told her was ideal for a meditating Jedi. It was odd, she thought absently as she took a moment to shift some unfortunately placed pebbles to a less offending position. She had been so reluctant to become the padawan of the legendary Jedi—even after the whirlwind days that saw her transformed from a desert rat on Jakku to a hero of the Resistance, Rey still had a hard time thinking of herself as _special_ , as _someone_ —but here she was.

Sitting by herself in a forest under orders to examine her feelings.

As a general rule, Rey did not like to examine her feelings. Niima Outpost's cutthroat residents had rather quickly taught her that her feelings were worth less than sand. She had spent years cultivating not friendships, but uneasy alliances of mutual benefit to all parties. You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours. When the closest thing Rey had had to a friend on Jakku caught the White Blindness and died shortly thereafter, Rey had bought a Flameout at the Outpost's seediest bar, drunk half, poured the rest into the sand, and gone to work scavenging. She had had a good haul that day.

It had therefore surprised Rey how very quickly she had bonded with Finn, Han, and Chewbacca. How keenly she had felt Han's loss. How her heart broke a little more each day Finn remained in his coma. How the glimpses of camaraderie, support, and friendship had actually seemed to intensify her sense of loss.

And that was the problem. While on Jakku, Rey had dealt with her abandonment by naively believing that one day her family would come back for her. That they had had no choice but to leave her, and there was a good reason they had kept her waiting so long. But here on D-Qar, surrounded by people who barely knew her and yet were so willing to help her and genuinely seemed to care about her, Rey's hope was slowly turning to bitterness. Finn had come for her in the nexu's den when he had known her a scant few days, despite knowing what he was doing was practically a suicide mission. Virtual strangers cared about her more than her own family.

She had taken to brooding around the base—despite Poe Dameron's best efforts to cheer her up—and it was starting to impact her Jedi training. Which was already unconventional enough, as Master Skywalker was fond of pointing out. He had seemed to instinctively know the root of Rey's problem.

 _"Perhaps it would help for you to focus on some of your good memories from Jakku in your next meditation. How your experiences there shaped you into the woman you are now," Luke had suggested one day when they had finished a sparring match._

 _"You're saying I should be grateful for being abandoned there?" she had snapped before she was able to check herself._

 _"No. But in this instance, Rey, I believe forgiveness is about your own peace of mind. This is about what you deserve."_

 _"What I deserve?"_

 _"Freedom, Rey. Freedom from loneliness and feelings of worthlessness. Do you remember when we first met, and you told me you were no one? I didn't believe that for an instant. And I think if you meditate on it, you will find that no one else has ever believed it either. There is an old saying, 'every cloud has a silver lining.' Meaning that if you look hard enough, you can find some good in any bad situation. I am not trying to patronize you," he had continued quickly when Rey had opened her mouth to protest, "but trust me when I say that the key to peace of mind is to not dwell on the negative. This is even more important for Jedi, as the Dark side feeds off of bitterness. Jakku played a huge role in your life, and I believe it would do you good to be able to think of it without anger. I'm not asking you to necessarily remember your time there fondly, and I am certainly not condoning your abandonment. But though you can chose not to let it define you, it is a part of you, Rey, and you must be able to accept it if you are to attain peace. Just consider it. Surely there were some silver linings on Jakku?"_

Rey had remained silent, but had reflected on his words in her next meditation. It wasn't until today, however, that she decided to act on them.

The pebbles now no longer distracting her, the sunlight warming her face, and the breeze tugging at the loose strands of her hair, Rey closed her eyes. And remembered.


	2. Speak Softly, but Carry a Big Stick

"Girl!" Unkar Plutt's bellow easily carried from his Concession Stand to where Rey was currently sitting at the salvage-cleaning station.

Rey's head immediately popped up from her work. The Blobfish was standing outside—a sight that was unusual enough even without the two Dathomirians standing with him. When Plutt noticed he had her attention, he motioned for her to join them, which Rey hastily did. One did not keep Unkar Plutt waiting. He handed her a piece of metal, wires poking out in seemingly random places.

"What do you make of this?" he asked.

Rey turned the part over in her hands, "It's an alluvial damper."

She could practically feel Plutt's eye roll, "Clearly."

"Looks like it's from an Infiltrator class. Probably Iridonian."

Plutt frowned at Rey's lack of useful information, and she was beginning to wonder why he had even called her over here if he already knew what she was telling him.

"And it's busted," Rey continued, looking up just in time to see the two Dathomirians exchange a look.

Plutt turned to the pair, "There you have it. The child agrees with me."

The male Dathomirian took a long, hard look at Rey, and now she understood: they didn't trust Plutt to give them an unbiased opinion on the status of their part. (Who would, really?) But why they'd trust her not to lie—or even to be able to make an accurate assessment—was beyond her.

"Do you have any equivalent parts?" asked the male.

Plutt relieved Rey of the damper and turned it over, thinking much as Rey had just done. Both Plutt and Rey knew they didn't currently have one, but that this pair would be willing to pay handsomely if their part could be acquired.

"No. And none of the other dealers will, either. We usually send these straight to the First Order for recycling, and they're hard enough to come by nowadays."

"We'll pay 15,000 credits if you can get us one in the next three days and install it," the female Dathomirian answered. "10,000 credits if it takes any longer."

Rey's jaw dropped. That was an absurd amount of money for one alluvial damper, and now every merchant in Niima Outpost would have them marked as easy targets for price gouging.

Plutt maintained a much more neutral facial expression than Rey as he replied, "I'll see what I can do."

* * *

The sign went up within minutes, just in time for the earliest of the returning scavengers to see it: Unkar Plutt was willing to pay 25 full portions to the first person to bring him an alluvial damper that could be fitted for an Infiltrator class ship. Their little corner of the Outpost was abuzz with the news, and a few of the scavengers had immediately gone back to the Graveyard of Ships as soon as they had heard. Twenty-five portions was just about unheard-of generosity from Plutt.

Rey was not immune to the excitement. She had also seen the sign, and gone running to her bunk in the back corner of the Concession Stand to find something to barter for access to Drego's speeder tomorrow. One day, Rey vowed, she'd have her own, but for now she'd just have to hope the Deputy was feeling generous.

"You want to trade one portion for my speeder? You have got to be joking, little one."

"You haven't even used it this week, Drego!"

"Two portions up front, 20% of the reward if you manage to get the damper first, and 10% of your scavenging take until the next new moon."

"Now who's joking?"

"And who else has a speeder you can borrow? Perhaps you should try your luck on the communal transit to the Graveyard?"

"Half a portion up front, 10% of the reward, and 10% of my scavenging take until the new moon."

The Kyuzo considered for a moment before extending his hand to Rey. He was clearly getting the better end of this bargain, but Rey wasn't willing to haggle too hard lest he think her too much trouble to do business with in the future.

By now it was too late to get started on the hunt for the damper, so Rey returned to her bunk. "Bunk" was actually a fairly generous term for the sleeping space Unkar Plutt allowed her to occupy. It was really a woven mat spread in a corner with two threadbare blankets to keep her warm and a scavenged X-Wing seat cushion to serve as a pillow. But there was a small shelf where she could keep her doll (the one reminder that she had once been loved and cared for) and a lockbox where she kept any extra portions she earned, either from helping Plutt in the Concession Stand, Brill Khaar with mechanical work, or from scavenging. It was rare that Rey had extra portions, but she was careful in her budgeting of them. Right now she was saving for speeder parts she hadn't managed to scavenge herself. It would be a huge relief when she no longer had to deal with Drego.

After checking that her lockbox was secure, Rey wolfed down the remaining half of the portion she had given to Drego, curled up in her thinning blankets, and tried to recall happy memories of her parents until sleep claimed her.

* * *

Niima Outpost was already bustling with scavengers, traders, and even a few off-worlders (easily identified by garments that were completely inappropriate for desert living) by the time Rey got to Drego's to claim her ride for the day. The speeder begrudgingly growled to life, and she carefully guided it through the throng of Teedos, their Luggabeasts, and her other fellow scavengers as they jostled for space on the communal transit. It wasn't long after that she was cruising toward the Graveyard. She knew exactly where to start.

It wasn't uncommon for scavengers to be quite knowledgeable when it came to the inner workings of machines. Just something that happened naturally when you spent your days ripping apart starships' inner workings for the most valuable pieces. But Rey was uncommonly good with machines, and she was fairly certain the alluvial damper within this Gymsnor-2 lying half-buried in the sand in front of her could be retrofitted with an actuation diode (which Rey knew Plutt already had) that she was confident Brill and herself could modify to be a passable fix for the Infiltrator. That is, if it was still there. Those Dathomirians seemed to be in an awful hurry, so she was betting on them not being too picky with the quality of the fix, provided it would get them off-world as quickly as possible without exploding. Besides, it was highly unlikely anyone would manage to scavenge a part that would fit the Infiltrator without modification—Plutt had actually been telling the truth when he said that the alluvial dampers went straight to the First Order for recycling.

Rey hoped fervently as she crawled into the front hatch and slowly made her way into the bowels of the ship. This Gymsnor-2 was an even sorrier freighter than that other Corellian heap of garbage Plutt was so proud of sitting on the outskirts of Niima Outpost. The fact that this ship was garbage made Rey suspect that most scavengers wouldn't have bothered too much with it, instead focusing their efforts on the much more profitable Star Destroyers. She was not disappointed: not only was the damper still there and perfectly intact, but it had already had a few modifications done to it that would make Brill's job easier. Rey tucked her prize into her satchel and made her way back outside.

The sun was climbing towards noon when Rey arrived back at the Outpost. Drego wasn't home, so she left the speeder in its usual spot by his dwelling and headed toward the Concession Stand. Maybe she was smiling too much, or maybe she was walking just a little too fast, or maybe she was just in the wrong place at the wrong time, but Rey was halfway between Drego's and Plutt's when she ran into trouble in the form of two boys a few years older than herself.

"Whatcha got in the bag, Rey?" the taller one asked as he came up beside her.

"What do you care, Talak?"

"I'll bet it's that thing Unkar wants," grinned the short one.

"I think you might be right, Crim," replied Talak, and he made a grab for Rey's satchel.

Rey was feisty and not unaccustomed to scraps with the scavenger children, but she was simply no match for the two older boys. The fight was over quickly, and she was left in the dust with a bloody lip, a bruised right cheek, and an empty satchel. Rey glared after the two retreating backs as she picked herself up and tried to fight back the tears threatening to overcome her any second now. The fight had drawn some attention, but most adults ignored these sorts of things as just something that happened between children (and sometimes adults).

But Rey caught the eye of the female Dathomirian looking out of a nearby cantina. Something in her gaze made Rey feel less ashamed, and she tried to hold her head a little higher as she continued to the Concession Stand, where the thugs would likely be collecting the reward that should have been hers.

* * *

"What happened to you?"

It was several hours after her scuffle with Talak and Crim, but Rey was still seething at the injustice of it. If Plutt had noticed her appearance upon her return, he had not indicated any concern. Instead, he had sent her to find the actuation diode Brill would need to fix the alluvial damper. Then he had sent her, the damper, and the diode to Brill.

"Nothing," was Rey's only reply.

Sensing that he would not get the story out of Rey, Brill did not press. Besides, they had a job to do. Brill could easily do the mod himself, but the actual replacement would be a lot easier with Rey's smaller hands. The male Dathomirian escorted them on board, and they got to work—Rey pulling out wires and odd bits of metal to make room for the bulkier part while Brill worked on the mod. The Dathomirian was most interested in Brill's work, ostensibly because Brill's skill would determine whether he and his crew would perish in a botched jump into hyperspace.

Rey was practically inside the hyperdrive console when she felt a presence behind her. Assuming it was just the male Dathomirian coming to inspect her work, she continued for several minutes without paying him any mind. When she reached back to grab her blow torch, she was therefore surprised to find the female Dathomirian squatting beside her. She was staring inscrutably at Rey.

"Why did you not tell the Crolute that he has rewarded the wrong person?"

"What difference would it make? The reward went to whoever brought him the part. They brought him the part."

Rey grabbed the blow torch and returned to the inside of the console. It was silent but for the sounds of her work for several more minutes, but when she again backed out of the console to replace the blow torch with a wire stripper, the Dathomirian was still there.

"It is not right. They had no honor."

"So? Honor isn't worth anything here, only strength. And I wasn't strong enough."

The woman was silent for a moment, and Rey thought that was the end of the conversation. She was about to return to her work when the Dathomirian spoke again.

"Would you like to be?"

Rey was taken aback. "What?"

"Would you like to be strong enough? The galaxy is often unkind to those it deems weak. But you are not weak, simply untrained and unarmed. I could help you with that."

"I don't need your charity."

"It is not charity. Think of it as your rightful payment."

Rey thought for a moment before responding, "What did you have in mind?"

"My captain," and the Dathomirian gestured to the male standing over Brill, "suspects we will be here for at least a few more days while your mechanic finishes his modification. Let me teach you a few basics of melee fighting when your skills aren't needed here. It is not much time to learn, but I believe you capable."

Rey was hesitant. Brill wouldn't begrudge her a few hours here and there when he didn't need her, but that was time she could spend scavenging or working off her room and board debt to Plutt. She was about the refuse the Dathomirian's offer when she remembered the smug look on Talak's face as he had punched hers.

"Alright," she agreed. "Teach me to fight."

An hour later, after she was done preparing the console for the mod when it was ready, Rey stood outside the Dathomirians' ship. The sun was just dipping below the horizon when the female Dathomirian, Leeta, joined her, a long bundle tucked under her arm. Leeta handed the bundle to Rey and indicated that she should open it.

Inside was a quarterstaff. It was a little longer than she was tall and appeared to be made of various recycled metal parts welded together.

"You still have much growing to do, but in a place such as this you should have no trouble finding scrap metal to add to the length as you get taller," Leeta said.

"You mean to leave this with me?" asked Rey, mouth slightly agape and eyes wide at Leeta's generosity.

"But of course. We are women, Rey. The galaxy may expect us to sit quietly and speak softly. But it never hurts to carry a big stick."


End file.
